5 de abril de 2008

Azaléia é fogo! Amor é fogo!



Camões enaltece o amor de uma forma assustadoramente bela. “O amor é fogo que arde sem se ver”. O curioso é que para se dizer que algo é bom, belo e digno de admiração é necessário que se mostre sua face nefasta e cruel. Adélia prado diz. “O amor é a coisa mais bela; o amor é a coisa mais triste; o amor é a coisa que eu mais quero”. Só desejamos algo de fato, quando se nos é revelado seu todo. Os dois lados. Em tudo há dois lados: o belo e feio, o triste e o alegre. Por isso é que Camões diz que o amor é uma ferida que dói mas não dói; que o amor é uma estranha mistura entre o ganho e a perda, entre o querer e não-querer entre a prisão e a liberdade.

É isto que o faz definir tão bem e tão concretamente algo que é misterioso e abstrato, porque esta é a verdade. Não a verdade de um poeta sobre o amor mas a verdade que existe em cada um de nós. Sabemos que é assim. Quando temos uma compreensão mística de algo que mora nas nossas profundezas e então ouvimos aqui fora o que já havia sido dito lá dentro, somos seduzidos pela palavra. E não há melhor forma de persuasão. Porque não fomos persuadidos por um outro mas por nós mesmos. Eu e você temos um quê de Camões, de Shakespeare na nossa compreensão acerca do amor. Sabemos que é assim mesmo e persistimos em não aceitar amor atrelado à morte, virtude irmã da fraqueza.

Quando chega o inverno, e eu vejo o amor que exala das flores das azaléias espalhadas por todos os cantos, lembro de Camões. Lembro que são possíveis coisas belas no inverno, lembro que o esquecido tornou-se revelado, lembro que o desprezo, que o trivial, que o comum têm também seu momento de esplendor e enaltação. Azaléias são aqueles pequenos arbustos com uma folhinha verde-escura e bem grossa. Parece até planta brava. Mas quando chega o seu tempo de florescer, o verde empresta o lugar ao brilho das flores, o que era rústico vira singelesa, poesia.

O brilho é tão forte que quase chega a ser agressivo. Dá até medo. Assim como temos medo de amar. Medo por ter sentimentos tão fortes como aquele que nos surgem de repente. O mesmo medo de que falou Vinícius no soneto do amor total. Seu medo era tal e seu sentimento tão estranho a si mesmo, que dizia: “hei de morrer de amar mais que pude”.

Azaléia é fogo porque ela é uma metáfora do amor. Só ama que consegue passar o ano com o rústico para então deleitar-se com a beleza. Só é tomado de temor frente ao brilho esfuziante das flores, quem por longo tempo acariciou a pequena e despretensiosa folhinha verde e peluda. A carícia era sinal de aceitação. Quando agente ama agente diz: ainda que não seja hoje o dia da flor eu continuarei a teu lado a acariciar-te, continuarei a amar-te. É quando o amor penetra até às raízes da planta. Ama-se cada parte dela. Tanto a vista quanto a não vista tanto as flores como as folhas, como o caule e também as raízes, ainda que não saibamos como elas são (e é melhor que não saibamos, pode morrer!). Amar é ter raízes... É de lá que brotam as flores.

O grande problema dos relacionamentos é quando eles são baseados apenas na flor. Enquanto te vejo bela te amo. E quando a flor cai? Então o arbusto é abandonado mesmo que ele não entenda o porque. pois [pensa:] continua sendo o que sempre foi; voltará a ter/ser flores.

Na verdade não se a amava o todo; amava-se apenas a beleza efêmera da flor. O pólen que atrai as abelhas no cio foi o que promoveu o mesmo cio humano e insaciável.

O que faz então este amante/inseto? Vai a procura de outras flores, mais ou menos belas que esta. Não importa. Importa que sejam flores, que tenham um bom cheiro, uma boa cor, umas pétalas macias, um libidinoso pólen...

Procura um amor que não existe. Um amor que só tem um lado. Que ao contrário do que pensa (alegria realização, gozo) apenas dói, queima, fere e machuca. Machuca a si mesmo, tal como ficaram feridas as rosas deixadas pelo caminho.

Castro Alves diz que o verdadeiro amor não exclui o pejo. Não há amor sem preço, sem entrega, sem compreensão da verdade, do todo do amor.

É possível fazer amor como o das azaléias. Casamento é isso: um encontro com a rosa e um abraço muitas vezes espinhoso e sangrento. Mas é sangue de amor que dói mas não dói, que rasga a pele mas penetra o fundo do peito. É acariciar o arbusto que mais ninguém vê. É fazer o outro saber que você admira a beleza que ele é e não apenas as flores que tem.
Amo as azaléias, principalmente quando elas não são notadas; quando estão adormecidas. E aí, deito ao lado delas e tenho um gostoso sonho e vejo que o verdadeiro amor é possível.

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Pode alguém abandonar seu pé de azaléias por não ter paciência em esperar as flores brotarem, daí a plantinha morre... contudo,não se esquece aquela que poderia ter sido a mais florida de todas. Nesse caso ama a planta apenas sonhando com as flores que deu jamais!

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